Third Party Reinforcement or Involvement
In many cases grandparents, babysitters and former family friends may also exhibit Hostile- Aggressive Parenting at times when they have authority over a child or may encourage hostile-aggressive behaviours. For example, a daycare provider may prevent telephone communication between the child and the other parent while at their home because of instructions from the hostile-aggressive parent and without ever questioning the reasons for these instructions. Some grandparents, who provide care for the child at times, may be given similar instructions by their hostile-aggressive son/daughter. Tragically, some grandparents comply with the wishes of their hostile-aggressive son/daughter out of fear that their son/daughter will “punish” them for not following their orders. Similarly, teachers at school may help to keep a loving and caring parent away from their child based simply on the destructive wishes of a hostile-aggressive parent. Doctors and other specialists may also be deceived by the hostile-aggressive parent into taking a position which helps the hostile-aggressive parent spread their hatred of the other parent.
In such situations, these people become collaborators to the hostile-aggressive parent and end up helping the hostile-aggressive parent spread their sphere of hate and revenge. These collaborators, in fact, become unknowing contributors to abuse of the very child they mistakenly believe they are helping to protect. Any parent, especially a sole custodial parent, who instructs others to interfere with the child’s relationship with another parent should be listened to with great caution and should be asked to submit their requests in writing with third party evidence to support their claims. Such parents who also exhibit a number of the identifying behaviours or risk factors of a hostile-aggressive parent should be considered highly suspect for child abuse and their motives questioned.
In most cases, these collaborators cooperate with the hostile-aggressive parent because they lack knowledge regarding Hostile-Aggressive Parenting or of other mental health problems and have been led to believe by the hostile-aggressive parent that they are doing the right thing and helping to protect the child. These collaborators are given one-sided and misleading information about the separation and divorce by the hostile-aggressive parent, information that is intended to make the other parent look bad and make the HAP parent a victim. It must be remembered that HAP parents are usually masters of deception. The collaborators have been brainwashed into thinking that the hostile-aggressive parent is the good parent and that the other parent and extended family are bad influences on the child. These collaborators usually lack the accurate and unbiased information about the family’s situation needed to make an informative and fair conclusion on their own. Hostile-Aggressive parents will go so far as to relocate their child to a new babysitter or a new school should they see that for some reason or another, that their collaborators have begun to see the truth of what the hostile-aggressive parent is really doing to their child and how wrong it is.
In such situations, these people become collaborators to the hostile-aggressive parent and end up helping the hostile-aggressive parent spread their sphere of hate and revenge. These collaborators, in fact, become unknowing contributors to abuse of the very child they mistakenly believe they are helping to protect. Any parent, especially a sole custodial parent, who instructs others to interfere with the child’s relationship with another parent should be listened to with great caution and should be asked to submit their requests in writing with third party evidence to support their claims. Such parents who also exhibit a number of the identifying behaviours or risk factors of a hostile-aggressive parent should be considered highly suspect for child abuse and their motives questioned.
In most cases, these collaborators cooperate with the hostile-aggressive parent because they lack knowledge regarding Hostile-Aggressive Parenting or of other mental health problems and have been led to believe by the hostile-aggressive parent that they are doing the right thing and helping to protect the child. These collaborators are given one-sided and misleading information about the separation and divorce by the hostile-aggressive parent, information that is intended to make the other parent look bad and make the HAP parent a victim. It must be remembered that HAP parents are usually masters of deception. The collaborators have been brainwashed into thinking that the hostile-aggressive parent is the good parent and that the other parent and extended family are bad influences on the child. These collaborators usually lack the accurate and unbiased information about the family’s situation needed to make an informative and fair conclusion on their own. Hostile-Aggressive parents will go so far as to relocate their child to a new babysitter or a new school should they see that for some reason or another, that their collaborators have begun to see the truth of what the hostile-aggressive parent is really doing to their child and how wrong it is.
