How Do You Know If He's Really Changing?
Positive signs include:
- He has stopped being violent or threatening to you or others.
- He acknowledges that his abusive behavior is wrong.
- He understands that he does not have the right to control and dominate you.
- You don't feel afraid when you are with him.
- He does not coerce you into having sex when you don't want to.
- You can express anger toward him without feeling intimidated.
- He does not make you feel responsible for his abusive behavior.
- He respects your opinion, even if he doesn't agree with it.
- He respects your right to say "no".
- You can negotiate without being humiliated and belittled by him.
- You don't have to ask his permission to go out, go to school, get a job, or take other independent actions.
- He listens to you and respects what you have to say.
- He communicates honestly and does not try to manipulate you.
- He recognizes that he is not "cured" and that changing his behavior, attitudes, and beliefs is a lifelong process.
- He no longer does _________ (fill in the blank with any behavior that use to precede his violence, manipulation, or emotional abuse).
- He no longer isolates you from your family or friends.
- He does not blame you for his behavior.
- He no longer emotionally abuses you.
- He no longer calls you names.
Positive signs include:
- He has stopped being violent or threatening to you or others.
- He acknowledges that his abusive behavior is wrong.
- He understands that he does not have the right to control and dominate you.
- You don't feel afraid when you are with him.
- He does not coerce you into having sex when you don't want to.
- You can express anger toward him without feeling intimidated.
- He does not make you feel responsible for his abusive behavior.
- He respects your opinion, even if he doesn't agree with it.
- He respects your right to say "no".
- You can negotiate without being humiliated and belittled by him.
- You don't have to ask his permission to go out, go to school, get a job, or take other independent actions.
- He listens to you and respects what you have to say.
- He communicates honestly and does not try to manipulate you.
- He recognizes that he is not "cured" and that changing his behavior, attitudes, and beliefs is a lifelong process.
- He no longer does _________ (fill in the blank with any behavior that use to precede his violence, manipulation, or emotional abuse).
- He no longer isolates you from your family or friends.
- He does not blame you for his behavior.
- He no longer emotionally abuses you.
- He no longer calls you names.