In most cases, the presence of any Critical HAP Behaviours/Indicators listed here will warrant immediate intervention and removal of the parent’s custody rights and comprehensive review of the child’s time with the HAP parent:
1) Parent plans to abduct or abduct the children and go into hiding. In some rare situations, HAP parents may make plans and then flee with the child without any warning and take the child to another state, province and in some cases another country, leaving no trace of where they were taking the child. In some situations, parents have been successful in hiding the children for years.
2) Parent has already fled with the child and has gone into hiding. In some rare situations, HAP parents may manage to put their plans into action and actually make the step of abducting the child.
3) Parent rejected all efforts to correct HAP behaviours. Some HAP parents exhibit a gross unwillingness or inability to reduce the child’s exposure to HAP influences by literally refusing to follow any recommendations intended to reduce HAP influences after being formally cautioned about the harm that these behaviours could cause the child and the consequences of their actions.
4) Threats to kill or harm child. Some HAP parents will threaten to kill, to seriously harm, sexually or physically assault or to use a weapon against a child. Some children have reported being thrown against walls, hit with objects and forcefully wrestled and held down on the floor for just doing simple things such as trying to use the phone to speak to their noncustodial parent.
5) May attempt suicide while caring for the child. Some HAP parents have attempted suicide, threatened suicide or have overdosed on drugs as part of a suicide attempt while they have been caring for a child. Some children have witnessed their parents attempt to take their lives. 6) Attempted to extort or to blackmail another parent. Some HAP parents will attempt to extort a signature on court documents from the other parent in matters relating to any issue. Often these HAP parents will use denial of access to children as their key weapon to extort or blackmail the other parent.
7) Attempt murder or physical injury. Some HAP parents may plan and attempt to carry out the act of murdering or maiming the other parent either themselves or through a third party “hit” person.
8) Child is physically or sexually assaulted by a parent’s partner. In some cases, children will report being physically or sexually assaulted by the parent’s current boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse. Sometimes the parent will help to conceal the abuse from authorities and in some cases become a collaborator to the crime.
9) Expose the child to excesses of alcohol and drugs. Some HAP parents will have wild parties where there is excessive use of drugs and alcohol, fighting, etc. while the child is staying in the home. Often the child sees these activities and is often feels uncomfortable or afraid of the situation.
10) Expose child to smoke when child has a medical condition which is aggravated by smoking. Some HAP parents are unwilling to control their smoking habit even for the sake of their children’s health. Some HAP parents will continue to smoke and expose their child to smoke even when their child has been diagnosed with a respiratory illness such as asthma. Some children end up in hospital as a result of their parent’s smoking.
11) Long term medical illness. Some HAP parents are diagnosed as suffering from some form of long term mental illness which can be directly linked to the parent’s HAP behaviour.
12) Promote drug abuse by the child. In some rare situations, HAP parents may share drugs or alcohol with their underage child or carelessly leave drugs in the home where the child is able to have access to the drugs.
13) Fail to obtain necessary medical treatment for the child. Some HAP parents may refuse to obtain medical treatment for their child when the child is in need of medical treatment.
Understanding and effectively dealing with Hostile-Aggressive Parenting (HAP) Published by Family Conflict Resolution Services
1) Parent plans to abduct or abduct the children and go into hiding. In some rare situations, HAP parents may make plans and then flee with the child without any warning and take the child to another state, province and in some cases another country, leaving no trace of where they were taking the child. In some situations, parents have been successful in hiding the children for years.
2) Parent has already fled with the child and has gone into hiding. In some rare situations, HAP parents may manage to put their plans into action and actually make the step of abducting the child.
3) Parent rejected all efforts to correct HAP behaviours. Some HAP parents exhibit a gross unwillingness or inability to reduce the child’s exposure to HAP influences by literally refusing to follow any recommendations intended to reduce HAP influences after being formally cautioned about the harm that these behaviours could cause the child and the consequences of their actions.
4) Threats to kill or harm child. Some HAP parents will threaten to kill, to seriously harm, sexually or physically assault or to use a weapon against a child. Some children have reported being thrown against walls, hit with objects and forcefully wrestled and held down on the floor for just doing simple things such as trying to use the phone to speak to their noncustodial parent.
5) May attempt suicide while caring for the child. Some HAP parents have attempted suicide, threatened suicide or have overdosed on drugs as part of a suicide attempt while they have been caring for a child. Some children have witnessed their parents attempt to take their lives. 6) Attempted to extort or to blackmail another parent. Some HAP parents will attempt to extort a signature on court documents from the other parent in matters relating to any issue. Often these HAP parents will use denial of access to children as their key weapon to extort or blackmail the other parent.
7) Attempt murder or physical injury. Some HAP parents may plan and attempt to carry out the act of murdering or maiming the other parent either themselves or through a third party “hit” person.
8) Child is physically or sexually assaulted by a parent’s partner. In some cases, children will report being physically or sexually assaulted by the parent’s current boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse. Sometimes the parent will help to conceal the abuse from authorities and in some cases become a collaborator to the crime.
9) Expose the child to excesses of alcohol and drugs. Some HAP parents will have wild parties where there is excessive use of drugs and alcohol, fighting, etc. while the child is staying in the home. Often the child sees these activities and is often feels uncomfortable or afraid of the situation.
10) Expose child to smoke when child has a medical condition which is aggravated by smoking. Some HAP parents are unwilling to control their smoking habit even for the sake of their children’s health. Some HAP parents will continue to smoke and expose their child to smoke even when their child has been diagnosed with a respiratory illness such as asthma. Some children end up in hospital as a result of their parent’s smoking.
11) Long term medical illness. Some HAP parents are diagnosed as suffering from some form of long term mental illness which can be directly linked to the parent’s HAP behaviour.
12) Promote drug abuse by the child. In some rare situations, HAP parents may share drugs or alcohol with their underage child or carelessly leave drugs in the home where the child is able to have access to the drugs.
13) Fail to obtain necessary medical treatment for the child. Some HAP parents may refuse to obtain medical treatment for their child when the child is in need of medical treatment.
Understanding and effectively dealing with Hostile-Aggressive Parenting (HAP) Published by Family Conflict Resolution Services
