Parental Alienation - South Africa
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    • Some of the Behaviors and Actions of a Hostile Parent
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    • Categories of Hostile-Aggressive Parenting>
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    • Identifying HAP>
      • Identifying and Evaluating “Mild to Moderate” HAP
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  • Parental Alienation
    • The Difference Between Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome
    • Identifying Alienation>
      • Signs of Alienation in Children
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      • Symptoms of Parental Alienation
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      • How Lawyers can Identify the Symptoms
      • Parental Alienation Includes Certain Features
      • Interactions Observeable in Children After Visits
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      • Other Ways of Carrying Out the Process of Alienation Via Programming
    • The Naive Alienator
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    • Possible Reasons for Parent Rejection
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    • Common Alienation - Related Visitation Problems
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    • Counselling or Mediation
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    • What to DO If Your Child is Being Alienated
    • What NOT to do If Your Child is Being Alienated
  • P.A.S
    • Detection of PAS>
      • Eight Points About PAS
      • The Eight Symptoms of PAS
      • The Eight Symptoms Explained
      • Differential Diagnosis Of The Three Types Of PAS
      • A Child Suffering From PAS May Show Fear Of The Following People
      • PAS Can Be Concluded To Exist In A Person...
    • Brainwashing Techniques>
      • Brainwashing Detection Techniques
      • Eight Stages of the Programming That Culminates in Severe PAS
      • Five Types of Psychological Maltreatment are Adapted for PAS
      • Mood Induction
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    • Differential Treatment Of The Three Types Of PAS
    • Criteria For Differentiation Between PAS And Bona Fide Abuse
    • Some Experts Consider PAS As A Form Of Child Abuse
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    • PAS Motivators
    • What You Do And Don't Do
    • Alienation in its Severest Forms Require Comprehensive and Resource Intensive Responses
    • Subtle Underlying Complicity Of PAS
    • Primary Symptoms Seen In Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
    • Risk Factors of Parental Alienation Syndrome
    • Guidelines for Assessing Parental Preference in Child-Custody Disputes
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    • Web Definitions of Domestic Violence
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      • Emotional Abuse by a Father
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    • The Role Society Plays In Helping The Abuser
    • The Tension Building Explosion Model And The Cycle Of Violence
    • How Do You Know If He's Really Changing
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  • Letter to Lili
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Letter to Lili

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“I know how hard it is for you when you feel pain. I know that you and I do not see things the same way and maybe we never will. I am sorry for whatever I have done to cause you to feel pain and I know that our divorce has been terrible for you.

I love you and do not want you to be in the middle of the war between your dad and me. I know it is terrible for you and rather than have you continue to experience that pain, I am going to withdraw for a while.“

“I want you to remember three things.

First, I do love you and want what is best for you.
Second, I will always be there for you if you need anything.
Third, if you ever change your mind and want to rebuild our relationship, nothing could make me happier.

I am only withdrawing for now to help you feel less pain and take you out of the middle of our war. I will keep in contact with you every few months or so. I will keep sending you birthday and Christmas cards. I hope you get them and I hope you will write back. I will always make sure you know where I am and how to reach me if I move. More than anything, I want you to have peace in your life and some day, I hope I can be a part of it.


I love you and I always will.”

Taken from: Complex Issues in Child Custody Evaluations by Philip M. Stahl, Ph.D.



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